Why We Need Jesus

We met a man in the airport in Taipei the other day.

"Are you going to Cambodia for vacation?" he asked us as we waited for our turn to board the plane.

"No, we live there".

"Me too," he said. "But not for much longer. I'm tired of the trash and the corruption and the people".

He is searching for the perfect place, he told us. He has been to over 180 countries, including living in the Middle East for 14 years.  After Cambodia he is going to move to the Philippines and then to Thailand, then to Morocco where he has always wanted to visit. Then maybe Ireland and finally he might settle in South America.

He has learned about different religions in each of the places he has visited. We told him our purpose in Cambodia and he asked if our organization was with a particular church. When we replied it wasn't he explained the conclusion he had come to: "All you need is God. Jesus was just a man anyway, a good man. How could God have a son if He has been around since creation? That would make for a very old Son. I have done enough good in my life and I will go to heaven and sit at the right hand of God, and wave to those who told me I was wrong".

Why do we need Jesus? 

Without Jesus and his death in our place, we must rely on our good works to achieve eternal reward. How do we know when we have done enough good? We can never be good enough in our own strength.

Colossians 1:13-14 For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redeption, the forgiveness of sins. 

Our airport friend is going to have a very difficult time, as he has discovered, finding the perfect place to live. He complained about the frustrations of the people where he is living, but the fact of the matter is we live in a broken, dark world. We are born, not with the ability to always do good, but with a nature that leans toward evil. We can try to do good things, strive to be good people but the truth is, we need rescuing.

Colossians 1:15-20 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. 

Jesus is an "old Son", he is the beginning and the end like His Father. His time on earth was not just lived as an ordinary human being, but rather all of the fullness of God was in Him yet He was human just like us.

Colossians 1:21-22 Once you were aliented from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation. 

To my airport friend: All of your striving to be good and help people is great but it will not earn you a spot in heaven. Our imperfect nature separates us from God and it is ONLY through Christ that we can be brought near to God. Jesus opened the door for us to be made holy and live in a right relationship with God, and spend eternity with Him. The restlessness you feel in your heart can only be satisfied in Jesus.

Sibling Blessings

It is a great blessing indeed when two families joined in marriage can be like one great big family. I loved the moments when the Hilkemanns and Tillotsons were together: seeing the brothers joking and laughing together, Matthew and Michael plotting jokes on the newlyweds, our simple but fun wedding party exit, shoulder rubs from Heidi, sister coffee shop time and sharing memories, how most of us were crying during the ceremony and it was okay.

My cousin captured some sweet photos after the reception of the wedding party, showing how we love to have fun together!

Photo credit: Nels Anderson

{The Wedding} Grace Gifts

My heart is full of memories, sweet treasures from the week I was able to spend with my family in Nebraska. My sister became Mrs. Benjamin Tillotson and she was a radiant bride. What an awesome privilege to see the journey God has had Ben and Beth on up to this point and to celebrate with family and friends!

Here are some of the sweet gifts and grace moments from my time at home:

• Shivering and laughing and eating ice cream, all 7 of us
• Walking barefoot outside
• Helping sprinkle wedding chocolates
• How familiar it is to have supper at Grandpa's
• Sisters 6 at Downtown Coffee Company
• A growing crowd around the table
• Laughing all together over Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, the perfect wedding movie
• A family doughnut date
• Planning our epic wedding party exit
• My sister, the most beautiful glowing bride
• Ben's face when he saw Beth for the first time
• Their kiss, their joy
• Watching my brothers say goodbye to Beth
• Cousin Facebook hacking
• Worship in English
• Josh home for supper, and late night game time
• Coffee at the table with Emily
• Matthew understanding hard goodbyes
• Sweet conversation with Mom and Dad on the way to Omaha
• The goodbyes are painful, but Cambodia feels like home too

Lessons from a Prophet

I'm reading Hosea, amazed at the picture of a loving, compassionate God who says of His children in Israel, "I will love them freely..." even though they turn away. Who doesn't stand amazed at the prophet Hosea who modeled a love that restores and forgives and runs after a wife that forsakes him? It is easy to see God in Hosea.

And then there is Gomer. The adulterous wife who takes for granted the love of Hosea, seeking to fill her heart with other things, and I want to say, "Gomer, what are you thinking?"

But Gomer is me. Every time I let worry creep into my heart I am saying, "God, I don't need you. You are not big enough to handle this problem". When I fill the holes with temporary satisfaction rather than lasting joy. When I forsake my First Love by not spending time with Him, using that precious time for insignificant things.

God desires my faithfulness, my whole-hearted devotion. And just as Hosea reconciled with his wife, God wants to open His arms for reconciliation with me too.  He says, "Then I will heal you of your faithlessness, my love will know no bounds for my anger will be gone forever". (Hosea 14:4)

{Sweet Gifts} Western Cambodia

While we were in Sompovloun there were two young men who wanted to be baptized. They have given their lives to The Lord and wanted to make a public confession of their faith. The pastor of the church is in Thailand taking care of his son who has leukemia, and so our team leader Jeff baptized them in the river near the ministry center. It was such a privilege to be a part of this special time and pray as a group for them.

We were quite the sight trooping through the village to the river!

Other sweet gifts: girls who got tired but with a little encouragement didn't give up on their sewing.

Freshly painted bright blue shutters- and Khmer conversation opportunities while working. :)

English students who gave us rides back to our guesthouse and were eager to help us.

One last meal all together and the amazing blessing of fellowship.

{Stories} Western Cambodia

One of the girls at VBS

The first four days the team from the US helped the young people from the church in Kilometer 13 village with a Vacation Bible school in Sasada. 40 excited kiddos greeted us every day to learn about the fruit of the Spirit, the stories of Creation, Abraham, Joseph and Moses, as well as carpentry and sewing.

~ The girls worked during the four days to sew a 9-patch pillow. The girls in my group had sewed before and were quite good. One girl in particular had the most beautiful stitches and was fast at sewing. She was very quiet though, preferring to work rather than chat with the other girls. The girls in my group gave her a hard time about being shy, which I can identify with since I can remember plenty of times when I was teased too for the same reason. I tried to encourage her whenever I could from that point on. The last day we were trying to get as far as we could but many of the girls had a ways to go. When this girl got to the fourth side of the pillow her excitement was evident, and her grin was wide when I told her she was the first one to get that far! She couldn't stop smiling as she stuffed the pillow, watched as I showed her the kind of stitch to close up the pillow and made it to the end! She was so proud of her work and I was proud of her as well.

~ I realized on this trip how little Khmer I really know. I have a long ways to go in learning! But God was faithful in sending two little boys to be my language helpers this week. :) The first was a boy that I met two years ago when we did VBS in Kilometer 13 village. He hung around in the afternoons this year when we were at the ministry center and once he learned I understood and spoke some Khmer he asked all kinds of questions about my life in Phnom Penh, in America, and about the others on the team. We talked about favorite colors and fruit and lots of things that were definitely more on my language level. The last day we were all getting on motos to go back to the guesthouse. He was very concerned that I would get left behind and kept frantically pulling on my hand until I was safely on the back of one of the motos. His sweet, caring heart was a blessing to me.
When Kristin and I arrived back in Phnom Penh after the 8 hour bus ride on Sunday we were exhausted and just wanted to go home. I was overwhelmed by the busy bus station and being unable to hear to tell our tuk--tuk driver where to find us. A teenage boy had followed us when we were trying to make the phone call and he started asking us questions. He was shocked when he learned we had only been in Cambodia 3 months and went and told all the others waiting. He got chairs for us and continued his questioning. After the tough week it was amazing to be able to understand him and talk with him! By the end of our waiting time several others had crowded around us to ask us questions and meet these foreigners who spoke their language. It was encouraging to know I AM making progress.

~ Friday and Saturday we had a special time with the young people of the church (teens and 20-30 somethings) to talk about holiness in our lives and how we need to be diligent about not letting sin take root in our lives but allowing God's forgiveness to make us clean. After our time we all went to the hospital to pray for a woman from the church. She was struggling to know God's forgiveness. After we all gathered around to pray for her, two of the young people knelt beside her and spoke words of Truth from the lessons we had just finished talking about. On Saturday as we continued our discussion with the youth we read Hosea 14:4: "I will heal you of your faithlessness, my love will know no bounds, for my anger will be gone forever". I felt like this woman needed to hear these words, and so even though I couldn't explain the depth of what was in my heart, I pulled one of the young ladies aside and shared how I felt this verse was for this woman. She promised to share the verse with the woman and even if I couldn't say all I wanted to, she understood my heart.

{Reflections} Western Cambodia

It is honestly hard to put into words what I am feeling after a week in western Cambodia. Sompovloun is where it all started- this journey of God's call to Cambodia, His vision of seeing this country healed and whole, a light to surrounding nations.

Everything I remember about my visit two years ago is happy. Oh I'm sure there were hard things, really challenging things, but I have probably blocked them out. I do remember the peace though, the sense of being at home, that I would return.

This time, I think God wanted me to see the darkness. The battle that is being waged in this part of the world. It has reminded me of the urgency of this task, reminded why I am here.

Two years ago we visited the village of Ou Thmaa where we met the teacher of the school. He had had a dream (and has had several since) of Jesus. He has been open to discussions about Christ, giving opportunities for Bible studies for the kids and seemed close to committing his life to The Lord. We learned this week that a stone idol has been set up in the village now and they are talking about building a temple, and everyone in the village seems excited about this. The darkness still has a grip on this village and we need to pray, fighting the battle for the light to shine through.

There are believers from the church who are passionate about sharing their faith, meeting with one another and growing in discipleship. There are those who have stopped fellowshipping, finding the pull of the world too strong to resist. Others have experienced deeper pain and hurt that I can even imagine, and they are wondering if God can heal and forgive.

So what do I do now? I fall on my knees and cry, "God shine your light in this place, that you may be glorified". I press on in language study in order to be able to communicate God's Truth in the dark places. I share this with you, so that you can go before God's throne with me. He WILL receive the worship that He deserves here.

From a Big Sister

Can I just say I have an amazing little brother? I got to spend the last week with my youngest brother Matthew in the village area of western Cambodia where my teammate Kristin and I joined a team from the US. This is my big-sister-brag post. :)

It was neat to see how Matthew was willing to try anything. He ate all the new foods, tried Asian fruit and even ordered the famous Cambodian iced coffee with sweet milk the first morning. This was a shock to me until I learned that Beth told him he couldn't come home unless he tried it.

Any time a task needed to be completed, Matthew jumped in and helped out. You didn't find him just sitting around much unless it was hanging out with kids. The little kids loved playing with him!

He also was the "cool kid" among the youth of the church who led the VBS and participated in a discipleship time at the end of the week. My favorite was seeing Matthew dancing and jumping around with all of the young people as they jammed to praise tunes and worshipped their Creator all together.

I'm so thankful that I got to share a place that is so special to me with my brother!

Our Strong Tower

I was challenged yesterday with the idea of drawing a picture as I am reading Scripture to help me dwell on the passage throughout the day and engage God's Word in a new way. I am definitely not an artist but I decided to give it a try.

This morning I read Psalm 62, which was exactly what my heart needed this week.

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. How long will you assualt a man? Would you throw him down- this leaning wall, this tottering fence?.... My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge...

As I sat pondering these words I imagined myself inside of a castle tower, walls thick. Inside of this tower I was safe, warm, loved, cared for. When the Enemy tried to hurl stones at me, the rocks crumbled and fell to the ground. The rocks this week have come in the way of lies: "You will never learn this language. 85% comprehension/speaking on your assessment isn't good enough. No one remembers you back home." I haven't done a very good job of running to my Strong Tower to keep me safe when the lies come.

But, inside the Strong Tower, these words are sung over me:

"Fear not, because I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name, you are mine" (Isaiah 43:1)

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28)

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning" (Lamentations 3:22-23)

"I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am The Lord the God of Israel, who summons you by name". (Isaiah 45:3)

This is where I need to go, this is where I need to run. I am so thankful for my strong Father who take such sweet care of His children, even when I forget the place in which I need to seek refuge.

The Market {A Story}

Last weekend Kristin and I met the sweetest lady in the market. She carries around a basket of books and hand-painted cards in our local market to sell to tourists. I had seen her before, talked just briefly with her. She was not like the other sellers in that part of the market, pushing their products as you walk past: "You want to buy a scarf, sister?" "Perhaps a shirt, miss?" Instead, she said hello, asked how we were.

It was obvious there was a joy within her, despite the fact that her face was covered with scars from severe burns. We browsed through her book collection, picking one out to purchase. We chose a couple of different sets of cards too. "The envelopes come with them", she wanted to make sure we knew. She didn't have any on hand, but she trusted us enough to leave our purchases in our hands while she went to stock up on envelopes.

"Tomorrow will you go to church?" she asked us as we paid for our items. "Yes!" we exclaimed and shared about our Cambodian church. She smiled too and shared about her church, one we knew about because two of our language teachers attend there.

Today I was back in the market and ran into this sweet woman. She stopped to talk to me, and asked where Kristin was today. I went on to complete my errand and on the way back she was just sitting down for a late lunch (or mid-afternoon snack, I'm not sure). "Child, have you eaten?" she asked me. Here I am, the foreigner who can barely speak her language, with plenty of food in my cupboards, and she is thinking of me, unselfishly willing to give of what she has. I was humbled, and wanted to sit down and thank her but a crowd of people pushed between us and I could not. I look forward to her smile and greeting her the next time I am in the market.

God never ceases to amaze me in how he encourages when my heart when I need it. A few other examples:

- Bright pink gerbera daisies are my absolute favorite! This week Kristin and I discovered the most amazing store- Office Max, Hobby Lobby and Barnes & Noble (or at least the Cambodian equivalent of these) all in one- and they had a variety of silk flowers. We replaced the single red rose that came with our apartment with these beauties.

- On Monday we went with a group to a workshop on Cambodian life and culture put on by a ministry here. At one of the stations they taught us how to write our names in Khmer. Last night I decided to see if I could find it in my Khmer Bible. After locating a verse that had "Sarah" several times, I figured out where the verse was in my Khmer Bible and there it was! My name in Khmer! So special.

- Also at the market today I stopped briefly at a grandmother's stall to look at her t-shirts. She spoke to me in English first but it didn't take much Khmer on my part for her to get excited. I asked her about sizes and colors and she happily pulled out what I asked for. When I asked her the price, she pulled me close and whispered in Khmer, "You are my friend so I will give you a special price", and then named a price less than half of what I normally hear when tourists buy the same shirt in the market. I had to smile.