An Open Letter to the Church
Bride of Christ,
I must admit that I am often too quick to judge, to condemn or just plain get frustrated with you. But what I see makes me sad. I see that so very often we (I am including myself as part of the global body) focus on the minor, things that are petty in relation to what is really important. So, I ask that you put aside your programs and your disagreements for a moment.
Do you see the harvest fields, dear Bride? Do you see souls hungry for the Truth, the Living Water that can fill them up like no other? Do you see the broken, the poor, the widow, the orphan, the farmer that just lost all his crop, the single mother who has no one to turn to, the woman who is well along in years and feels forgotten? Do you see the entire people groups, entire islands and nations FULL of people who do not know the name of Jesus, do not know the source of hope, have never HEARD?
Does this break your heart? Why then do you fuss over buildings and locations, programs for the sake of numbers, the attempt to control and have things your way? Why have we stopped being the body, seeing first of all that Jesus is the Head? Not us, never us. Why then do you stay within the walls of safety, the church building? Why then do you think YOU should be fed, you feel entitled to a certain kind of sermon, you even work hard to serve in the name of Jesus but you take your eyes off of HIM when you fail to resolve your problems with your sisters and brothers?
Oh, Church, would you look up in deep worship to our Lord? Look out, look out at the hopeless and dying. Yes, be fed through the Bread of God's Word, be refreshed through the Holy Spirit, and don't forsake the assembling of yourselves together. But in your striving, don't forget WHY we are here. It is not to DO church but to BE, to be the body, to show love and to preach truth. Make every effort to keep peace with each other and don't give up when it gets tough, because it WILL be tough. Don't be so consumed with what is within that you put aside what is without, those who NEED so desperately the hope you have to offer.
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Do It All For His Glory
***Note: Can I just brag for a bit? I am very proud of my brother Josh. He is a leader and role model, he loves learning, and has a compassionate heart. I won't tell you all the stories of how we fought as kids, and how he knew EXACTLY how to push his big sister's buttons. :) I also love that you can hear him on the radio during Husker sporting events, and know the broadcast is happening because he is manning the board. How cool is that? I'm so thankful to have Josh bringing you a guest post today.
By Josh Hilkemann
Hello all of Sarah’s readers!
While I am not unaccustomed to blog-writing, I can say this is the first time I have been a guest contributor to someone else’s blog… so it is indeed an honor!
When thinking of what to write about over the last week or so, I kind of had an idea of what I was going to share. Then, as is often the case when I’ve been mulling over a certain subject in my mind, I happened to hear a sermon about that exact subject. It always amazes me when this happens – whether it’s seeing a passage of scripture, or hearing a message on the radio, or even a certain song – I know that God is trying to teach me something when it comes at me in multiple directions.
It’s funny that this is going to be shared on my sister’s blog, because what I’ve been thinking about involves my siblings. Over the last year and a half or so, I’ve had a lot of emotions concerning the fact that my oldest sister would be going to/is on the mission field in a foreign country. These emotions were further stirred when I found out that my other older sister (Beth) would be following the same path soon. The mixture of emotions is hard to describe: sadness that they’re leaving, joy and pride that they’re going where God wants them to be.
But it’s also raised a lot of questions in my mind. Am I where God wants me to be? Is having a “secular job” what I’m supposed to be doing right now? Growing up I’ve always been told that you don’t have to be in ministry or be on the mission field to be a missionary. (And that we’re all called to be missionaries – “Go therefore…” in Matthew 28 etc.) But at the same time I have felt slight nudges that some day it might be time for me to be in one of those areas. I have to admit: it’s difficult trusting that you are listening to God’s call on your own life when every single one of your siblings is either in a foreign country on the mission field or has been there in the past…
With all of that said, here’s what I have been learning and soaking in the last couple of weeks.
First and foremost, everything we’re doing should be for God. Colossians 3:23 says: “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” Whether you are a missionary, have a “normal” 9-5 job, are a stay at home Mom, are retired or are a student, you don’t have any excuses – everything you do should be done with a heart that wants to please God. Along with that, we need to have an attitude of humility in our work – that’s something that I’ve always struggled with, and that’s why one of my favorite passages of scripture is Philippians 2:3-5. We should have an attitude of serving and not being served.
One of the biggest things that I took out of the sermon I heard recently was the fact that we need to be encouraged in whatever our work is, because there is Grace and Providence in our work. God has put us where we’re at for a reason, and he can use us wherever we’re at.
If we continue to grow in our relationship with Him, His direction on our lives will be that much clearer.
With sister Emily at Ben and Beth's wedding last fall
***********************************By Josh Hilkemann
Hello all of Sarah’s readers!
While I am not unaccustomed to blog-writing, I can say this is the first time I have been a guest contributor to someone else’s blog… so it is indeed an honor!
When thinking of what to write about over the last week or so, I kind of had an idea of what I was going to share. Then, as is often the case when I’ve been mulling over a certain subject in my mind, I happened to hear a sermon about that exact subject. It always amazes me when this happens – whether it’s seeing a passage of scripture, or hearing a message on the radio, or even a certain song – I know that God is trying to teach me something when it comes at me in multiple directions.
It’s funny that this is going to be shared on my sister’s blog, because what I’ve been thinking about involves my siblings. Over the last year and a half or so, I’ve had a lot of emotions concerning the fact that my oldest sister would be going to/is on the mission field in a foreign country. These emotions were further stirred when I found out that my other older sister (Beth) would be following the same path soon. The mixture of emotions is hard to describe: sadness that they’re leaving, joy and pride that they’re going where God wants them to be.
But it’s also raised a lot of questions in my mind. Am I where God wants me to be? Is having a “secular job” what I’m supposed to be doing right now? Growing up I’ve always been told that you don’t have to be in ministry or be on the mission field to be a missionary. (And that we’re all called to be missionaries – “Go therefore…” in Matthew 28 etc.) But at the same time I have felt slight nudges that some day it might be time for me to be in one of those areas. I have to admit: it’s difficult trusting that you are listening to God’s call on your own life when every single one of your siblings is either in a foreign country on the mission field or has been there in the past…
With all of that said, here’s what I have been learning and soaking in the last couple of weeks.
First and foremost, everything we’re doing should be for God. Colossians 3:23 says: “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” Whether you are a missionary, have a “normal” 9-5 job, are a stay at home Mom, are retired or are a student, you don’t have any excuses – everything you do should be done with a heart that wants to please God. Along with that, we need to have an attitude of humility in our work – that’s something that I’ve always struggled with, and that’s why one of my favorite passages of scripture is Philippians 2:3-5. We should have an attitude of serving and not being served.
One of the biggest things that I took out of the sermon I heard recently was the fact that we need to be encouraged in whatever our work is, because there is Grace and Providence in our work. God has put us where we’re at for a reason, and he can use us wherever we’re at.
If we continue to grow in our relationship with Him, His direction on our lives will be that much clearer.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Such is Our Confidence
Note: Probably my favorite role in all the world is being a big sister. I am incredibly proud of my siblings and how they desire to serve The Lord and love others around them. So, I thought I would let them share here on my blog. Many of you reading this probably have known our family a long time and followed us through the years, but perhaps not! I hope you enjoy hearing from my siblings through the next few months.
First up- my sister next-in-line, Beth. She and her husband, Ben, are heading overseas soon to share the hope of Jesus. Their first baby is due in early November!
******
- By Beth Tillotson
- By Beth Tillotson
Areas of weakness are not areas of certain failure. They are areas of potential growth - AND, amazingly, areas where God can make His power known.
I doubt sometimes. I just stop and my shoulders drop and I think, yikes, why in the world am I doing this? God, You know who you are asking to go out into Your harvest field, right? This woman, this shy, quiet, reserved, timid woman...who isn't assertive and isn't bold and isn't good at building relationships and isn't abundantly qualified. Me, God? Really, You want me to go?
I don't like looking at those areas where I struggle, the weak points. Of course not, but how important it is to understand those weaknesses! Not so I'll feel bad or doubt God or give up.
But to say - God, will You challenge me in those areas and bring growth?
Not to say I've failed before I even got started.
But to hear Him say - Remember, daughter? I use the weak things and low things and despised and foolish things so that ALL the glory and ALL the boasting is in Me. So that My power is revealed.
Isn't that my heart's desire anyway? Having it pointed out that I'm not perfect, that I'm not the most qualified or experienced...should make me glad. Overflowing with thankfulness for God's immense and lavish grace, that He is my adequacy, and that through those weaknesses His glory can be seen and known.
"Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant." 2 Cor. 3:4-6
"I heard the call, Come Follow,
That was all.
Earth's joys grew dim,
My soul went after Him.
I rose and followed - that was all.
I rose and followed - that was all.
Will you not follow if you hear Him call?"
~Hudson Taylor
Friday, June 13, 2014
Battle Cry of Praise
I have noticed this anthem repeated through the pages of the Old Testament, the words of praise mentioned over and over. "Give thanks to The Lord, for his love endures forever".
This was the battle cry of the people of Judah under King Jehoshaphat (2 Chronicles 20). A massive army of the Moabites, Ammonites and Meunites were on their way, bent on war. The people of Judah knew their numbers were tiny in comparison, the reality was certain defeat. Jehoshaphat knew there was no where else to turn but to The Lord. "We do not know what to do," he prayed, "but our eyes are on You".
It was to be the Lord's battle. Instead of the best fighting men and the strongest weapons, the people sent out an army of worshipers to lead the way into battle. The praise on their lips was this, "Give thanks to The Lord, for his love endures forever". Give thanks? Celebrating God's love in the face of death? And God came, He destroyed the enemy and His name and fame spread throughout the nations.
This week we walked the streets of the red light district, past countless bars and clubs and customers, feeling physically the weight of the darkness and oppression. I didn't even know how to pray, how to fight the battle of the Enemy's hold on this area. So, I took up the battle cry of the people of Judah, "Give thanks to The Lord, for his love endures forever", whispering these words over and over. "You are holy and righteous, You will gain the victory here". Give thanks: God's armor, His weapons, His light shining in the most impossible places. 13 months (almost) of time in this city, friends and open doors. God's judgment, His discipline, refining and gentle correction. The water of the Holy Spirit that washes and transforms. The cool breeze and gently falling rain that made our walk more pleasant.
This doesn't seem like a particularly strategic battle plan, does it? But our thanksgiving takes our eyes off ourselves, our problems and the impossibility and focuses us on the Victorious Savior, the One who is able to change hearts and cities and whole people groups for His glory. And it will be His glory that shines here, His praise that echoes forth from the lips of His people.
This was the battle cry of the people of Judah under King Jehoshaphat (2 Chronicles 20). A massive army of the Moabites, Ammonites and Meunites were on their way, bent on war. The people of Judah knew their numbers were tiny in comparison, the reality was certain defeat. Jehoshaphat knew there was no where else to turn but to The Lord. "We do not know what to do," he prayed, "but our eyes are on You".
It was to be the Lord's battle. Instead of the best fighting men and the strongest weapons, the people sent out an army of worshipers to lead the way into battle. The praise on their lips was this, "Give thanks to The Lord, for his love endures forever". Give thanks? Celebrating God's love in the face of death? And God came, He destroyed the enemy and His name and fame spread throughout the nations.
This week we walked the streets of the red light district, past countless bars and clubs and customers, feeling physically the weight of the darkness and oppression. I didn't even know how to pray, how to fight the battle of the Enemy's hold on this area. So, I took up the battle cry of the people of Judah, "Give thanks to The Lord, for his love endures forever", whispering these words over and over. "You are holy and righteous, You will gain the victory here". Give thanks: God's armor, His weapons, His light shining in the most impossible places. 13 months (almost) of time in this city, friends and open doors. God's judgment, His discipline, refining and gentle correction. The water of the Holy Spirit that washes and transforms. The cool breeze and gently falling rain that made our walk more pleasant.
This doesn't seem like a particularly strategic battle plan, does it? But our thanksgiving takes our eyes off ourselves, our problems and the impossibility and focuses us on the Victorious Savior, the One who is able to change hearts and cities and whole people groups for His glory. And it will be His glory that shines here, His praise that echoes forth from the lips of His people.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
A Few of my Favorite Things (10 to be Exact)
There are plenty of challenges living in Cambodia, but for the most part I so enjoy getting to spend this season here. So, here are 10 of my favorite things about Cambodia life!
1. Khmer Iced Coffee: strong brewed coffee + sweetened condensed milk + ice = one of my absolute favorite treats, especially on a hot day!
2. Fruit: it is fun to discover what fruits are in season when, and try all the variety that this country has to offer- mangoes, papaya, jack fruit, rambutan, dragon fruit, just to name a few.
3. Messy traffic: okay, sometimes this can be a frustration, but since I don't actually have to drive mostly it is a great source of amusement! I love seeing how cars, motos, tuk-tuks and pedestrians manage to weave their way down the street without incident.
4. Rainy season: even after 12 months of living here, I still absolutely love the monsoon rains that come during rainy season! The thunder is incredible, it is fun to watch people scramble for cover or deal with the downpour, and the rain helps cool down the air which is always a relief.
5. Tuk-tuk Rides through the City: we haven't gotten a moto of our own yet so our main transportation is the cart-type taxi. I love the breeze in my face and feeling like I am a part of the life happening along the way to wherever we are going.
6. People think I am beautiful: this is rather selfish, I realize. But it does do wonders for one's self-esteem when you hear comments while walking down the street about your lovely height and beautiful long nose.
7. Diversity in nature: you can find just about everything in this country- mountains, the ocean, city, beautiful countryside in rice-growing season when everything is the brightest color of green. It is so fun to see the Father's creation here!
8. Small town feel: Cambodia is not a huge country and the capital city is only about 2 million people. I love that it doesn't feel like a major metropolis here.
9. Everyone is family: people don't go by their names generally, but call each other "sister", "uncle" or "grandfather", according to your age in relation to theirs. It is comforting to hear our regular sellers in the market asking me where I've been if they haven't seen me for awhile, and calling me "child".
10. Willingness to help: people here are normally really wonderful about stepping in to help where they can, even if it means stopping whatever they are doing. The aunt at the vegetable stand always throws in some extra green onions or cilantro for us, and one of our tuk-tuk drivers would give us a lift to the market if he saw us out walking. One time it was pouring down rain and the uncle on the corner was fast asleep in the tuk-tuk so we couldn't get his attention from across the street (and were getting rather soaked). A passing moto driver noticed our predicament and swung back around to go and wake him up for us.
You can find lots of other fun top-ten lists on a variety of topics this week at www.velvetashes.com.
1. Khmer Iced Coffee: strong brewed coffee + sweetened condensed milk + ice = one of my absolute favorite treats, especially on a hot day!
2. Fruit: it is fun to discover what fruits are in season when, and try all the variety that this country has to offer- mangoes, papaya, jack fruit, rambutan, dragon fruit, just to name a few.
3. Messy traffic: okay, sometimes this can be a frustration, but since I don't actually have to drive mostly it is a great source of amusement! I love seeing how cars, motos, tuk-tuks and pedestrians manage to weave their way down the street without incident.
4. Rainy season: even after 12 months of living here, I still absolutely love the monsoon rains that come during rainy season! The thunder is incredible, it is fun to watch people scramble for cover or deal with the downpour, and the rain helps cool down the air which is always a relief.
5. Tuk-tuk Rides through the City: we haven't gotten a moto of our own yet so our main transportation is the cart-type taxi. I love the breeze in my face and feeling like I am a part of the life happening along the way to wherever we are going.
6. People think I am beautiful: this is rather selfish, I realize. But it does do wonders for one's self-esteem when you hear comments while walking down the street about your lovely height and beautiful long nose.
7. Diversity in nature: you can find just about everything in this country- mountains, the ocean, city, beautiful countryside in rice-growing season when everything is the brightest color of green. It is so fun to see the Father's creation here!
8. Small town feel: Cambodia is not a huge country and the capital city is only about 2 million people. I love that it doesn't feel like a major metropolis here.
9. Everyone is family: people don't go by their names generally, but call each other "sister", "uncle" or "grandfather", according to your age in relation to theirs. It is comforting to hear our regular sellers in the market asking me where I've been if they haven't seen me for awhile, and calling me "child".
10. Willingness to help: people here are normally really wonderful about stepping in to help where they can, even if it means stopping whatever they are doing. The aunt at the vegetable stand always throws in some extra green onions or cilantro for us, and one of our tuk-tuk drivers would give us a lift to the market if he saw us out walking. One time it was pouring down rain and the uncle on the corner was fast asleep in the tuk-tuk so we couldn't get his attention from across the street (and were getting rather soaked). A passing moto driver noticed our predicament and swung back around to go and wake him up for us.
You can find lots of other fun top-ten lists on a variety of topics this week at www.velvetashes.com.
Saturday, May 31, 2014
When God Meets You in the Coffee Shop
I escaped to the coffee shop this morning for a bit of air-conditioning, and because I rather have a soft spot for white chocolate mochas. Every once in awhile I like to listen to a sermon in English from pastors in America, because while I can follow along and learn much from our Cambodian pastor it is nice to hear your heart language. I pulled up a list of sermons from David Platt and rather randomly chose one, only to be blessed beyond belief by this study on Psalm 68. You can watch or listen to the message HERE.
Wow, this God? He is awesome! How often do we stop to marvel at this, to proclaim it? He is on the move. Psalm 68:1: May God arise, may his enemies be scattered. The God who made His presence known in the Ark of the Covenant among the people of Israel (Numbers 10), the God who showed His love through the active coming of the Son to dwell on this earth, He is NOT finished working in the world today! Throughout this psalm He shows that He is sovereign, all-powerful, and He is drawing peoples and kings to Himself. He is majestic! Psalm 68:32-33: Sing to God, O kingdoms of the earth, sing praise to The Lord, to him who rides the ancient skies above, who thunders with a mighty voice. Who am I, who are we that this mighty God would love us? Yet David dared to say, "Your procession has come into view, O God, the procession of my God and King into the sanctuary" (Psalm 68:24). He comes to the orphan and widow, the lonely, He saves and draws us close.
And this promise, God's grace poured out. Psalm 68:19: Praise be to The Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. This awesome God cares about the hurt and pain, the frustrations and burdens of His children. Like a tender father who takes the hand of a hurting child, this Father longs to take our burdens and leave His peace instead. Why do I insist on trying to carry my own troubles, to deal with things on my own when the God of the Universe longs to relieve them?
He is our Hope. He is the hope of this nation, He will scatter the enemies and release the captives here. He is the God who deserves the praise of every people group, and one day every knee will bow before Him. And He is the God who knows the specific loneliness of being single overseas, the burden of the prodigal child not yet come home, the heart cry of the woman in a broken marriage, the man who has lost his job, the physically afflicted, He draws us all close and daily bears our burdens.
Wow, this God? He is awesome! How often do we stop to marvel at this, to proclaim it? He is on the move. Psalm 68:1: May God arise, may his enemies be scattered. The God who made His presence known in the Ark of the Covenant among the people of Israel (Numbers 10), the God who showed His love through the active coming of the Son to dwell on this earth, He is NOT finished working in the world today! Throughout this psalm He shows that He is sovereign, all-powerful, and He is drawing peoples and kings to Himself. He is majestic! Psalm 68:32-33: Sing to God, O kingdoms of the earth, sing praise to The Lord, to him who rides the ancient skies above, who thunders with a mighty voice. Who am I, who are we that this mighty God would love us? Yet David dared to say, "Your procession has come into view, O God, the procession of my God and King into the sanctuary" (Psalm 68:24). He comes to the orphan and widow, the lonely, He saves and draws us close.
And this promise, God's grace poured out. Psalm 68:19: Praise be to The Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. This awesome God cares about the hurt and pain, the frustrations and burdens of His children. Like a tender father who takes the hand of a hurting child, this Father longs to take our burdens and leave His peace instead. Why do I insist on trying to carry my own troubles, to deal with things on my own when the God of the Universe longs to relieve them?
He is our Hope. He is the hope of this nation, He will scatter the enemies and release the captives here. He is the God who deserves the praise of every people group, and one day every knee will bow before Him. And He is the God who knows the specific loneliness of being single overseas, the burden of the prodigal child not yet come home, the heart cry of the woman in a broken marriage, the man who has lost his job, the physically afflicted, He draws us all close and daily bears our burdens.
Friday, May 30, 2014
Stages of Trusting
The last few weeks the ladies at Velvet Ashes, an online community of women who have experience serving overseas, have been talking about life's different seasons: marriage, singleness, raising kids in a country other than their passport issuer. I have loved learning from the wisdom shared and pondering some of the deep questions these topics bring up.
This week they are focusing on singleness. At first, I was eager for the discussion this week, but also a bit unsure if I wanted to face the hard things that might be brought to the surface. Honestly, though, for the first time this week I realized that it was okay. Okay that I don't have a ring on my finger, okay that most of my friends my age are already married. I haven't reached some magic stage of contentment in my singleness. I feel like instead I am in a stage of acceptance, taking the gift from The Lord that is today, this time, this season.
It definitely hasn't always been that way. I remember reading in a Laura Ingalls Wilder book back in my childhood about a lady who was 26, and looked down upon because she was an old maid. It is funny the things that stick, huh? Passing that age milestone was a bit uncomfortable, on the downhill slide to 30. We have such expectations don't we? That we will have a husband by this point, then children, that our lives will look a certain way, that certainly by 28 these things would have been achieved. It might be based on what the culture around us says is "normal", what our friends are doing, what our family says, what we have always daydreamed of and hoped for.
I have been blessed with a teammate that is in the same stage of life that I am. We laugh sometimes over the desperate lack of options here (as in single guys who love Jesus and are somewhere close to our age), but it means I have to trust God even more, as in all things. It has caused me to ask hard questions, "Do I believe that God cares enough about the intimate details of my life to know that I want to be married? Is He big enough to plop an eligible single guy down in a remote village in Cambodia? Is my lack of a mate somehow a sign that God is withholding something from me?" If I believe that God does care, He does give good gifts, He does want me to obey Him fully no matter what stage of life I am in, then I can accept that. I can find joy in today, in the seasons that come and go, whether I am overseas or in my passport country. I am very thankful for women who have modeled this trusting joy in all of the stages of life, married and single, with kids and without, young and old.
I want to respond every day with the humble, obedient spirit that Mary had when she said, "My soul glorifies The Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior". (Luke 1:46-47)
Sunday, May 25, 2014
Happy Anniversary, Cambodia!
(The joy of tile is that your whole house can be a whiteboard!)
Kristin and I have set up a little monument of sorts in our living room. You know, the Joshua 4 kind that testifies to God's power and goodness, but slightly less permanent than the 12 stones. Our own reflection scribbled with markers on our tile wall has come about because of the one-year anniversary of our arrival in Cambodia. Exactly one year ago, we stepped out of the air conditioned airport into the heat and humidity, piled in a tuk-tuk with all our worldly possessions, and began a journey of trusting in God through these last 12 months.
We have been remembering all of the firsts- when we started language school and all we could say was "Hello, how are you, sister?" Our teacher made us practice right away with the other teachers and people on the street, and I laugh now imagining how terrible it must have sounded. We could barely tell our tuk-tuk driver where we wanted to go, but I guess we managed because we always ended up in the right spot. The "honeymood" period wore off and we discovered how exhausting operating in a second language can be and the importance of Sabbath out of necessity. It seems every time I was ready to give up, or I wondered how in the world I was going to make it, God knew and He met me there. He provided encouragement, always. Perhaps it was in the form of a bookshelf, something so simple, but I remember the joy of bringing that home and filling it up. It was sometimes in an especially strong thunderstorm, the monsoon rain pouring down and thunder so loud it shook the house and reminded me of God's power. Most often, it was in the form of our sweet friends, the people that cheered us on, pushed us because they knew we could do it, celebrated our birthdays with us, showed much grace when we didn't understand and explained something over and over. I have learned from their own walks with The Lord, loved studying His Word in their heart language.
While I have not enjoyed several bouts with parasites, the constant battle with critters in a our apartment, and a few other frustrations that come with life in this country, I wouldn't trade it for what I have seen God do, the ways He is working in the hearts of the Khmer people and in my own heart. I know that His purpose remains through it all, and He is the reason that we celebrate making it to this one year mark.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
More than Gelato
The summer before my senior year of college I spent 2 months in Italy working with missionaries. You can't go wrong with trying a new flavor of gelato every day, right? Or swimming in the crystal clear blue waters of the Mediterranean, dining on fresh pasta, and wandering up and down cobblestone streets.
Aside from discovering that vanilla and chocolate gelato laced with ribbons of Nutella is a piece of heaven on earth, I learned a lot of other things that summer too. While working at an Italian Christian preschool, it was assumed that I knew the language and had teaching experience to keep hot-tempered 3 and 4 year olds under control. Neither of these was true, and I had to learn to rely on the Holy Spirit in a whole new way. While a few years of high school and college Spanish did prove to be helpful, there were times that I understood and was able to communicate when I should not have been able to. Sometimes I was completely overwhelmed with the task of keeping the kids in line, especially when the other teachers all disappeared at lunch time and it was up to me to keep the peace. But God always sent help when I needed it- whether it was a little 6-year old girl who stood up for me and believed in my abilities when I wasn't so sure, or words in a language not my own that spilled out, later realizing that I had communicated far beyond my ability. I learned too that I loved being a hostess, when almost at the end of my time there a short-term team came from the US and I was the "old hand" by that time. I learned that missionaries are not perfect (a lesson I have needed in my current season of life), rather they are just people that desire to serve God but deal with all of the hard and crazy and beautiful that is this life. My two months in Italy were far more difficult than I could have imagined, but I loved discovering God's strength in my weakness and His goodness to me in the tough times.
Aside from discovering that vanilla and chocolate gelato laced with ribbons of Nutella is a piece of heaven on earth, I learned a lot of other things that summer too. While working at an Italian Christian preschool, it was assumed that I knew the language and had teaching experience to keep hot-tempered 3 and 4 year olds under control. Neither of these was true, and I had to learn to rely on the Holy Spirit in a whole new way. While a few years of high school and college Spanish did prove to be helpful, there were times that I understood and was able to communicate when I should not have been able to. Sometimes I was completely overwhelmed with the task of keeping the kids in line, especially when the other teachers all disappeared at lunch time and it was up to me to keep the peace. But God always sent help when I needed it- whether it was a little 6-year old girl who stood up for me and believed in my abilities when I wasn't so sure, or words in a language not my own that spilled out, later realizing that I had communicated far beyond my ability. I learned too that I loved being a hostess, when almost at the end of my time there a short-term team came from the US and I was the "old hand" by that time. I learned that missionaries are not perfect (a lesson I have needed in my current season of life), rather they are just people that desire to serve God but deal with all of the hard and crazy and beautiful that is this life. My two months in Italy were far more difficult than I could have imagined, but I loved discovering God's strength in my weakness and His goodness to me in the tough times.
Friday, May 9, 2014
A Constant Thread
That very first flight I was terribly frightened. It showed on my face as I handed my passport to the security officer, the airport quiet at 4:00 a.m. "Don't worry!" he told me as I went through the scanner and gathered my things.
I was 20 years old, flying for the very first time from Omaha, Nebraska all the way to Quito, Ecuador with a group of summer study-abroad students from my college. My professor had spent the last two days walking us through what we would need to know about the culture of Ecuador, what our days would look like and what assignments would be required of us. But no one really thinks to tell you how to go through a security line, how to find your seat on a plane, things most people know how to do but this farm girl was experiencing for the first time.
There were lots of 'firsts' on that maiden voyage out of the US, living with a host family, studying another language for four weeks. I learned to enjoy cheese in my hot chocolate and popcorn in my soup, how to slow down and enjoy relationships and not worry so much about a schedule, how to barter in the market and get the best deal. Everything was new and exciting, and I returned to America seeing only the good in Ecuador and frustrated with all of the negative I saw in my own culture.
Several (many) flights and security lines later, having traveled to and lived in other places, my perspective is a bit different. I have learned that there is beauty in all cultures, and I love discovering this. But it is not all good. There are things that must be redeemed through the Father, in the culture I am currently in and in the one I still call my home culture. I am discovering this in my role too. Sometimes I marvel at what the Father allows me to see and experience and other times I wish I could be in a place where I can communicate clearly and my head doesn't hurt because of constantly operating in a language that is not my first. There is a beauty and pain in this season, as in other seasons. But my God is the constant, teaching and guiding.
I returned from Ecuador much more confident, navigating security lines, even a baggage search and immigration lines with ease. Until I got to the customs officer at our first stop in America. He checked out my passport, glanced at me again, and then began to speak to me in German. I was caught quite off guard, and having operated in Spanish for the last month I responded to him in Spanish that I had no idea what he was saying to me. He pointed to my passport and said, "With such a German last name, you don't speak German?" We both laughed and had a lovely conversation. There is always something new to learn, always a reminder that I cannot lean on my strength.
I was 20 years old, flying for the very first time from Omaha, Nebraska all the way to Quito, Ecuador with a group of summer study-abroad students from my college. My professor had spent the last two days walking us through what we would need to know about the culture of Ecuador, what our days would look like and what assignments would be required of us. But no one really thinks to tell you how to go through a security line, how to find your seat on a plane, things most people know how to do but this farm girl was experiencing for the first time.
There were lots of 'firsts' on that maiden voyage out of the US, living with a host family, studying another language for four weeks. I learned to enjoy cheese in my hot chocolate and popcorn in my soup, how to slow down and enjoy relationships and not worry so much about a schedule, how to barter in the market and get the best deal. Everything was new and exciting, and I returned to America seeing only the good in Ecuador and frustrated with all of the negative I saw in my own culture.
Several (many) flights and security lines later, having traveled to and lived in other places, my perspective is a bit different. I have learned that there is beauty in all cultures, and I love discovering this. But it is not all good. There are things that must be redeemed through the Father, in the culture I am currently in and in the one I still call my home culture. I am discovering this in my role too. Sometimes I marvel at what the Father allows me to see and experience and other times I wish I could be in a place where I can communicate clearly and my head doesn't hurt because of constantly operating in a language that is not my first. There is a beauty and pain in this season, as in other seasons. But my God is the constant, teaching and guiding.
I returned from Ecuador much more confident, navigating security lines, even a baggage search and immigration lines with ease. Until I got to the customs officer at our first stop in America. He checked out my passport, glanced at me again, and then began to speak to me in German. I was caught quite off guard, and having operated in Spanish for the last month I responded to him in Spanish that I had no idea what he was saying to me. He pointed to my passport and said, "With such a German last name, you don't speak German?" We both laughed and had a lovely conversation. There is always something new to learn, always a reminder that I cannot lean on my strength.
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